today it poured again.
i really hope it doesnt pour on raffles trail otherwise.. it's going to be damn spoilsport.
Getting back GP tomorrow.. ):
POSTED AT 11:06 PM
Sunday, Apr. 02, 2006
hello.
anyway i realized that my bio teacher was actually a PES C. cos he said he got excited when he saw the doctor and he found out that he has hypertension.
and btw. i dont think i'm in the pink of health currently. so it's better to be freaking loser to be not in PES A then to hunshuimoyu into the whole bunch of PES A people and do PES A stuff when I'm not really at all fit for it. anyway uh i think i'll trust the doctors' judgement.
POSTED AT 10:27 PM
Sunday, Apr. 02, 2006
i felt benevolent today, so i decided to feed mosquitoes. but i think nowadays mosquitoes don't know how to be content. they linger around after sucking and they constantly bite you even though they're probably already full. wtf. or maybe it isn't the same mosquito.. maybe the one who bit me flew away and told another mosquito about me and the latter flew over and bit me instead.
omg i really really hate gp i dont know how to do well in it and i'm suffering like shit in it ta ma de. and biotechnology is so BROAD everytime i get a slight amount of willpower to read cty's notes and i actually start reading them, my determination wanes immediately because his notes are seriously painful to read and i can't make sense of them. yup.
POSTED AT 10:21 PM
Thursday, Mar. 30, 2006
the last thing i need right now, is PES A - not like I'm in any position to be in that status, but walao.. life ends when you're PES A.
POSTED AT 8:36 PM
Thursday, Mar. 30, 2006
Even if we were three inches apart, as was the case this afternoon, I knew you would ignore me if I wasn't the one initiating the conversation - and so I acted dao, I acted as if I didn't care. Inside, I was screaming for your attention, so desperate for you to talk to me that I wanted so much to stop playing this childish game of pride.
POSTED AT 7:56 PM
Monday, Mar. 27, 2006
POSTED AT 12:52 AM
Monday, Mar. 27, 2006
NS medical checkup grrrrrrr.
POSTED AT 12:19 AM
Saturday, Mar. 25, 2006
i just watched another show where the female was suffering from erotomania. and she went to kill everyone who "tried" to obstruct her relationship - though she was imagining it all the while. it's freaking scary.
POSTED AT 9:46 PM
Friday, Mar. 24, 2006
The subtitles read: "Let me ask you again. Why didn't you wash my underwear?"
-__________-
POSTED AT 9:43 PM
Friday, Mar. 24, 2006
LIBERATION!
FREEDOM!
NO MORE COMMON TESTS!
... chemistry was difficult. so was physics. couldnt do two structured questions. bio was crap, cos i didnt know how to do the last essay question.
POSTED AT 5:34 PM
Friday, Mar. 24, 2006
fuck.
i keep dreaming that we are on talking terms.
that i smsed and you replied.
that i yelled your name across the amphitheatre and you replied.
i would have let it pass if it was merely an isolated dream, but no, this is a repetitive dream, a dream that haunts me straight after efflux of common test knowledge occurs and my brain void can accomodate random bittersweet thoughts.
everytime i wake up i feel so horrible.
POSTED AT 10:12 AM
Friday, Mar. 17, 2006
you know what's the worse thing when you're wearing long pants trying to keep out the mozzies..
it's when the mozzies CREEP in your PANTS and START BITING LIKE MAD cos they can't find their way out.
So now I look like a retard cos I'm tucking in the ends of my pants into my socks.
Why, why do mozzies have to make people itch after they bite?
Isn't it a disadvantage to them? IT ONLY MAKES PEOPLE WANT TO AVOID IT AND PIAK IT. Which means they only deprive themselves of food.
I mean, I'd gladly offer my blood insofar as THEY DONT MAKE ME ITCH.
Why hasnt evolution done anything about this? Like, creating some weird gene mutation that makes anti-itch mozzies who can suck all they want at the oblivion of their victims.
WHY NOT?
It's such a worthwhile alternative?
They're happy, I'm happy.
Anyway the way they buzz around my ears is very gross cos I feel like they're gonna bite my face. FREAK.
POSTED AT 8:28 PM
Friday, Mar. 17, 2006
its a sweltering afternoon and i'm at home, in LONG SLEEVES, LONG PANTS and SOCKS.
the reason?
because of the damned mosquitoes! i can't even roam my house anymore in tshirt and shorts. the moment i do that, i start itching everywhere.
it's really damn hot ARGH.
anyway, to my horror,
I FOUND MOSQUITO BITES ON MY FACE AND NECK AND HANDS.
So the next thing I should do is to wear a mask, a scarf, and gloves.
With that outfit my neighbours are going to think I'm invisible.
irritating.
POSTED AT 1:36 PM
Thursday, Mar. 16, 2006
i think sometimes receiving a birthday present from someone can really make your day.
therefore, i'm going to make an effort to give birthday presents to the 18 friends that i have.
(yes, i know, i have very little friends.)
POSTED AT 12:14 AM
Wednesday, Mar. 15, 2006
To the author of http://museum-of-twits.blogspot.com:
I had a good laugh out of your classic posts. Sadly, I think you're pathetic.
Just by revolving your life around denouncing "twits" doesn't make you any more superior than the people you so often lambast. I mean, once or twice it's okay, but making a blog out of it, extracting photos and their corresponding captions and then painstakingly writing a saga out of every lian friendster profile you come across makes you seem like nothing but a weird, bored, act-civilised pseudo-critic who spends tonnes of time in front of the comp targeting people you don't know.
Please get a life. Please go do something more fruitful.
You're nothing but pathetic losers trying to inject an ever so slight iota of superiority into your very own lame lives by spending SO MUCH TIME insulting ahlians. I mean you're really so bored you even went to the extent of creating a lian dictionary.
I applaud you, really. For having the courage to expose your stupidity to public scrutiny. I mean it's really quite ironic that your whole screw-ah-lianszzz saga has really backfired.
POSTED AT 5:37 PM
Wednesday, Mar. 15, 2006
I did - if that's what you call it - "CIP" yesterday. HELLO I don't see how I was of any assistance except bringing little children around a forest trail and to makeshift toilets (think OBS) and they didnt seem like they have benefited a lot either, many were whining about the sweltering heat and many starting screaming
a) "KORKOR ARE WE THERE YET"
to which I would say "five minutes more lah"
b) and then five minutes later, they say
"KORKOR FIVE MINUTES ALREADY LEH"
"oh, really, that means we only have five minutes more woohoo!"
and then a), b), a), b), a), b).. for the whole journey. (kids have short attention span lol.)
anyway many of them weren't in the least appreciative? they rushed off straightaway without waiting for the J2s to come back.
bunch of ingrates.
anyway, i'm really screwed for common tests bye bye!!!!
ASHASAJSJKAJK
ALL THINGS THAT I USED TO KNOW
HAVE GONE OUT THE WINDOW
POSTED AT 12:41 PM
Friday, Mar. 10, 2006
OMG.
MY TEAM GOT SELECTED FOR RAFFLES TRAIL.
KENNY ALOYSIUS CHONGREN JEFFREY BENTAY JIAYOU!
(hyperventilates)
yay!!
POSTED AT 9:43 PM
Friday, Mar. 10, 2006
and all i want to hear is the message beep
omg sAVE ME SAVE ME i'm only at carbonyl compounds!!11111
I STARTED FROM THE BACK HOR
2 days to cover each subject
8 days left
2 days to cover biology = siao ah!
POSTED AT 9:19 PM
Thursday, Mar. 09, 2006
today's gp paper was tragic.
all 12 questions could not be attempted - cloning didn't coming out, neither did censorship, consumerist images in women's fashion industry, or anarchism. FREAK.
I ended up doing something on DEATH PENALTY and had to force out WEAK FEEBLE LOUSY arguments and obviously it sucked like shit. WORST ESSAY I'VE EVER WRITTEN UNDER EXAM CONDITIONS.
--> probably mertied <30, but who gives a damn, only common test.
Comprehension, i felt like giving up halfway. Strange order of questions.. summary was at question 2. Vocab was ASJKJSH, "pithy" came out and i started thinking about monocot dicot shit and wrote stuff akin to "central", "essential" BLAH dunno LAH
SIANNN
I CAN NEVER GET A1 FOR GP
okay anyway. other news.
batchgive.
batchgive is very touching.
i think the ahmas and ahpeks at bukit ho swee are very very very grateful. (: i think they should be jumping around their flats in joy.
RJC rocks.
and. oh today fish&co dinner. i had NO TICKETS. jealous jealous jealous.
what else. hmm. okay nothing
bye.
POSTED AT 12:23 AM
Thursday, Mar. 02, 2006
maths and physics s
DISTINCTION
GP A1
A FOR PHYSICS BIOLOGY CHEMISTRY MATHEMATICS
is impossible.
now get real.
i'm hoping for something close to
AAAA
A2
MM.
sigh.. i cmi
POSTED AT 8:36 PM
Tuesday, Feb. 28, 2006
i have lost my motivation to blog.
every breath you take,
every move you make
every bond you break
every step you take
i'd be watching you
every single day
where have all the good guys gone
POSTED AT 7:19 PM
Tuesday, Feb. 21, 2006
I feel all alone, always.
POSTED AT 11:55 PM
Monday, Feb. 20, 2006
So the S-Paper dilemma boils down to the following options:
- Chemistry/Physics (my current combination);
- Chemistry/Mathematics;
- Physics/Mathematics;
- Physics/Mathematics/Chemistry (which is a ludicrous notion.)
I'm considering Math/Physics, but let me weigh out the pros and cons of my decision.
Why I should stay in Chemistry:
- It is a widely-conceived notion that the odds of surviving in Chemistry is greater than that in Maths. You are severely disadvantaged in Maths if an obscure formula comes out that has been once tested/included in the FMaths syllabus.
- Hell, even the FMaths kias think Maths S is crazy.
- Chemistry requires just that bit of motivation to read up, questions are okay; for maths you don't know means you don't know.
- The whole damn world is taking Chemistry, so the distinction mark might be set lower - you don't know how to do doesn't mean the whole damn world knows how to do it either. For Maths, to the contrary, the benchmark is geared towards FMaths, distinction mark might be >70. Horrors.
- You might not have the aptitude for Maths, why commit suicide? C'mon, you've only seen how easy Trigonometry seems, who's to say you won't die for more difficult topics like, integration, AP/GP... or statistics?
- My senior says he's quite sure I'm going to die in Math S. And it overall seems like a less viable option when you compare the distinction rates in both subjects.
- I might not have enough maturity and experience to decide that I have the capability and aptitude for Math S. Who's to say I can handle Math S? Who knows, my aptitude for Chem S might even be higher than that for Math S when viewed in proportion to the difficulty of the paper itself.
- If I switch to Maths, and I regret it, I won't be able to turn back again.
Why I should drop Chemistry and take Maths:
- The main issue here lies in motivation. I just looked through my Chem TYS, and to my horror, I realized that I can barely do 5% of the questions. And I don't have the slightest instinct to read further on Huckel's Rule, Grignard's Reagents yadayada. I talked to the Math S lecturer just now, and she told me that the Math S syllabus requires little further reading, just "a bit of twisted thinking".
- I have better aptitude in Maths than in Chemistry. Taking Chemistry is like fighting a losing battle and trying to save a lost cause. If I take Maths, I can find in myself that slight inclination to do my Math S tutorials. My Chem S lecture is tomorrow, and I haven't touched the Energetics questions - that says something, doesnt it?
- I can actually follow what the Maths S lecturer was talking about just now - I couldn't follow the equilibrium lecture at all, and equilibrium is supposed to be like, quite easy? The thing with Maths is, when the lecturer explains it, at least you're able to understand and follow; this is not the case with Chemistry.
- As far as scholarships are concerned, two S papers are needed, not two S papers with distinctions. Essentially, switching to Maths places me in a win-win situation -- at worst I get zero for Maths, and I still meet the criterion of two S papers. Since the grade factor has no bearing on anything, why should i be concerned with the so-called difficulty with maths, as is so often assumed? Furthermore, I actually think I have a slight iota of hope with Maths; for Chemistry even the slightest notion of hope is banished.
- I can't do Chemistry, in fact, I hate chemistry. Last year, I barely made the mark for Chemistry - 75.7%, when the whole bloody world got 90+% hahaha. I had merely taken Chemistry because rumours were rife that Chemistry S is very easy blahblah taking Maths is suicide etcetc. But, really, an S paper is about pursuing your interest, isn't it? Why should I stick with Chemistry just because the whole damn world is sticking with it, when I actually have a slight flair for Mathematics in the first place?
- My concepts in Chemistry are very weak. My concepts in Mathematics are, by any measure, much stronger.
- I love Maths. Really. Even if I cannot do it at times, I still love it.
- Minor factors: My dad can help me in Maths, not in Chemistry. I get my Tuesdays free, which would end at 1 normally, ie. no 3-hour break.
Anyhow, I hope that I live with whatever decision I make and try not to regret it. At the present moment, I am considering a switch due to my strong aversion against Chemistry, but at the same time there are also a lot of factors to convince me not to make the switch. Also, a lot of people are calling me siao for even contemplating a switch.
Sigh. I don't know what to do.
I think the win-win situation makes me strongly biased towards making the switch.
It really boils down to what I expect to gain from a S Paper - a sure-win distinction, an opportunity at challenging my limits, or merely for the sake of scholarships?
If it's merely for scholarships, I am most certainly making the switch - getting a zero for Maths won't have much bearing anyway.
However, that blemish on my result slip won't be quite pleasing to the eye though - then again, who's to say I am definitely going to get a distinction for Chemistry, given my current standings?
UNless, hmmm.. the argument is whether the ODDS are higher.
OKAY WHATEVER I am seriously very disturbed.
Switch or not?
POSTED AT 6:48 PM
Sunday, Feb. 19, 2006
and when she lets me slip away
SHE TURNS ME ON
AND ALL MY VIOLENCE'S GONE
NOTHING IS WRONG
I JUST SLIP AWAY
AND I AM GONE
ITS NOTHING WRONG
SHE TURNS ME ON
i just slip away
and i... am gone
POSTED AT 10:18 PM
Sunday, Feb. 19, 2006
reality - or rather, my perception of reality - torments me.
tomorrow is prepare-for-chem-s-paper day. which means, i have no time to do my halogenoalkanes tutorial, current of electricity tutorial, etc.
i keep imagining things, and when my imagination starts becoming real.. i never make it real. like that time, when i was too surprised to wave back.
if i had done so, things would have been much better now;
and history is repeating all over again.
what justifies us in believing that the sun will rise tomorrow?
POSTED AT 8:06 PM
Sunday, Feb. 19, 2006
i said,
assume i am weaker.
POSTED AT 8:02 PM
Sunday, Feb. 19, 2006
precisely,
even if you manage to triumph over life,
it's going to be won at too great a cost.
POSTED AT 7:16 PM
Sunday, Feb. 19, 2006
pardon my recent temperament
i've been extremely distressed.
i dont want to go to school tomorrow to face the same ancient struggle that i'm already getting tired of,
i don't want i don't want i don't want a lot of things
but life just keeps pushing all of them in my face
and when you're beleaguered by all these, what is the only thing you can do?
cry. break down. be torn.
oh, you can say i should stand up, valiantly, and try to push them all away
some things,
some specific things,
in life. are not within your control.
(at least, hardly within your control)
given my calibre, please dont expect me to be in control.
if i have to do it, i will;
but i don't want to have to do it
the sheer notion of it is PREPOSTEROUS
its back to square one
the same old issues
arent they?
POSTED AT 7:10 PM
Sunday, Feb. 19, 2006
the truth, really, is I DONT WANT TO LEAVE RAFFLES FOR NS
THE LATTER IS UNWORTHY OF MY ATTENTION/TIME/ENERGY
i feel bits of my sanity drifting into a unidirectional pathway
feel like screaming and yelling and being on the verge of breaking down
okay, you say,
THAT EVERYBODY HAS THE SAME PROBLEMS
just assume i have a slightly lower threshold of pain
OH GOSH
FUCK
i dont feel like fighting on anymore
life is a gamble,
and the odds of winning is SEVERELY biased against you
hardly anyone gets out of it alive.
POSTED AT 7:04 PM
Sunday, Feb. 19, 2006
the fact remains,
that i'm pretty disturbed by the whole concept of national service. pre-enlistment medical examination wtf. WTF. medical questionnaire WTF - HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHETHER I GOT ANY KIDNEY DISORDERS - so i have to put 'no', take a risk, a stab in the dark, and pretend that i have no kidney disorders even when i might have one? HUH? HUHHHHHHHH
fuck ns.
POSTED AT 6:51 PM
Sunday, Feb. 19, 2006
WTF I ACTUALLY LEFT ONE BLANK FOR MATH? WTF?
HAHA MAYBE I DIDNT SHADE DARKLY ENOUGH
I DONTTTTTTTTT LEAVE BLANKS
(NOT AT LEAST FOR MATH.)
but luckily still 800 haha.
critical reading EIGHT wrong
writing 4 wrong (wtf, 4 wrong and i get 69/80?!)
i got back my horribly written essay eeeek
i wont publish it its very embarrassing.
POSTED AT 12:36 AM
Saturday, Feb. 18, 2006
iwishiwasspecial
i wish i could be loved by people i love
(but no, that voice inside tells me i am by any measure inferior.)
POSTED AT 11:57 AM
Saturday, Feb. 18, 2006
whenyou're here before;
couldnt look you in the eye..
you're just like an angel
your skin makes me cry
talentime 2006 - being really ambivalent as to who to vote for, i went around with my voting badge, and asked the contestants: "how desperate are you for this badge?", and i voted for the person who was least desperate for the vote. but usually these people-magnets are surrounded by so many people they don't even need my vote, so much so when i handed over my badge, and said "good job", i was ignored - to think i actually paid 50cents in return for merely a splitsecond of attention. not enough, totally not enough.
then, it was movie under the stars, which was funny, and the subtitles made it especially easier to follow, especially with loads of hawaiian slang words.
i want a perfect body;
i want a perfect soul;
i want you to notice when i'm not around
POSTED AT 11:48 AM
Thursday, Feb. 16, 2006
firstly, i'd like to say that the atm machine is well-received by much of the student population of RJC. a pat on the shoulders of the people involved in bringing that commodity into school life.
secondly, a bit about my personal life. i am very stressed. and i don't understand why i should be, i'm not a councillor, my cca(s) are chao slack, i pon recbad on a regular basis, and i don't go for bio soc either - and even if i had went for them, it's not like they demand a lot of attention and intelligence. but hell, i'm still very stressed. i'm beginning to feel very claustrophobic everywhere in school. i feel like i'm surrounded by countless walls and people, and everyone is eyeing you and scrutinizing your every detail. eek! perhaps it's one of those angsty i-hate-the-world mood swings again. and i havent been very calm nowadays. have been very pissed with the most minor stuff. i don't know why.
perhaps it's just the feeling that there are a lot of stuff on my to-do list, and i can't seem to squeeze out enough time to do everything perfectly and finely, so due to this i have to perform most tasks rather haphazardly. being quite a perfectionist, such recklessness is disgusting. i want everything to be done perfectly, ideally.
s papers are horrible, sometimes i stare at the questions and i don't know how to start. my father can't help me out either, and every bit of instinct and muscle in me tells me that i won't have the motivation to research and read up on extra-curricular material.
GP is still an ass
COMMON TESTS are coming up, and i can hardly cope with schoolwork. and the biology syllabus is mad.
and i'm beginning to lose a lot of the remaining self-confidence i once had. that's why i don't want to go to school, i don't want to expose my lack of self-esteem to everyone in school, and i'm FCKING stressed because i dont like going to crowded places like the canteen where i have to force out contrived smiles and wave hello and bye even though i dont really know these people, ack. i feel like donning another identity, just for the sake of school life. my very own identity is so not suitable. ARGH
homework interpersonalrelationships personalgripes spapers alevels nationalservice;
a big fuck to all of you
FOR CREATING SO MUCH MISERY
i am very disturbed.
VERY.
i don't know how to regain the composure i once possessed, or somehow, pseudo-possessed,
cos i pretended to be calm..
but now i have even lost the capacity to pretend
POSTED AT 8:33 PM
Thursday, Feb. 16, 2006
i'm having a bit of a personality problem of late.
i think it's school.
and i tend to truncate stuff like
POSTED AT 8:26 PM
Tuesday, Feb. 14, 2006
2200 for SAT; not too good, not too bad either. Surprise of the day came from essay, which merited 10/12. I had expected worse marks. I know a great whole bunch of people who got higher than me in previous SATs or the current one. DISAPPOINTED WITH MY 69/80 AS WELL AS CRITICAL READING, cheebye lah i just CANT GET THE NUANCES RIGHT.. ahdhash why is sat so difficult.
GP demands something about the Kosovo War, I have no idea what it is and who fought for what, so I turn to Wikipedia, and I find out that the neutrality of that article is debated upon. It's most probably my only resource, dammit.
ANYWAY.
chemspa tomorrow, brrrrrrrrr
POSTED AT 8:09 PM
Sunday, Feb. 12, 2006
Kenny, I don't think Kelly Clarkson will sue you for blogging that she has smelly armpits?
tmd i think she has better things to do lah.
who would want to spend millions of bucks hiring some attorney for "personal defamation" to press charges against some singaporean 17yearold who made some assertions about her physical attributes?
and just to prove you wrong,
i'm going to assert here that
kelly clarkson has smelly armpits.
sue me lah sue me lah!
POSTED AT 10:24 PM
Sunday, Feb. 12, 2006
23 hours to SAT grades! I'm feeling exactly the same way I did for my O-levels, but not everyday's a Sunday; incidentally today's a Sunday.. but that's just an idiomatic expression, not to be taken in its literal sense.
HMMM
MY parents had decided to send me to GP tuition, to which I am a bit ambivalent, and shall see how I fare for the Machiavelli compre (2004 Promos) before I make my decision.
Sigh I want to make my blog more interesting... but I don't have interesting stuff to blog about.
Nevermind, nevermind.
I want to change certain perceptions others have of me, but I can't, so I end up being pissed about it; but being pissed about it doesn't help solve anything, so I wonder why I should be pissed in the first place. Luckily nobody knows I am pissed, because a pissed bentay is just like an unpissed bentay.. since the degree of pissedness is usually rather mild, so mild that pissedness <<< unpissedness you can assume its negligible.
HAPPY YUAN XIAO EVERYONE!
POSTED AT 10:09 PM
Sunday, Feb. 12, 2006
POSTED AT 11:40 AM
Sunday, Feb. 12, 2006
The hamster isn't mine.
The dog was.
POSTED AT 11:34 AM
Sunday, Feb. 12, 2006
hey guys!!!
entre's organising a charity dinner at fish and co. we've booked the ENTIRE
GLASSHOUSE (opposite plaza sing) for ONE NIGHT so its just entire RJRJRJRJRJ
and more RJ!
do turn up okay, the proceeds go to the bone marrow donor project, which is
in aid of bone marrow related diseases.
there will be live bands [for the rg girls, mr roslan's band is coming (:]
and a lucky draw, where there will be prizes like an mp3 player and stuff
from perlini's and ben and jerry's ice cream vouchers!
alsoalsoalso tickets are at $20 each, but please remember this is FISH AND
CO and you're paying for a full meal and more importantly, it'll be FOR
CHARITY!
so do come down and dont complain and be kiam and everything because we
really hope it'll be a success and a great big rj thing.
you can pre-order with me/tricia/debra aka bonkie/king lun/justin
lee/constance and we'll try to book your tickets for you first. bring your
class og friends ccamates blahblahblah teachers are fine too haha!
see you there!! (:
POSTED AT 10:40 AM
Sunday, Feb. 12, 2006
Right now, the official US time is:
21:02:43
Saturday, February 11, 2006
(accurate within 1.7 seconds)
SATs scores are released on 8am EST, which is about 35 hours from now.
Which means you can go check your scores at 9pm tomorrow.
(:
Good luck!
I think I'm going to get <2200.
POSTED AT 10:02 AM
Saturday, Feb. 11, 2006
CONGRATULATIONS WENXIN FOR GETTING 11A1s!! WHEEEEEE (:
and all the other 10A1s too!
POSTED AT 7:01 PM
Friday, Feb. 10, 2006
I let him win this morning, by actually expressing a vague sense of anger; I felt like such a failure - I wasn't supposed to let him know that I was angry, because he wanted me to be angry all this while. I bet he must have had so much satisfaction, because at that instant he probably knew I was pretending to be all calm and nonchalant.. all this while I was steaming with anger. I can't let him win.
POSTED AT 6:28 PM
Friday, Feb. 10, 2006
POSTED AT 6:19 PM
Friday, Feb. 10, 2006
Updates.
Rainbow on my way to school! AHH
and.
That yin liu started sprouting furry stuff.
POSTED AT 6:14 PM
Wednesday, Feb. 08, 2006
I felt so stupid at the canteen this morning; my eyes felt itchy, i blinked my right eye while I waved to someone, and it seemed as if I winked at her.
I so regret taking Physics S, the Maths questions on the Maths S notice board look temptingly easy, but rumours are rife that they'll get harder in time. I CANT EVEN DO PHYSICS KINEMATICS S. And Kinematics is supposed to be, like, easy?
I'm going to introduce 6 ant baits in my room to curb the proliferation in ant population. STUPID PINEAPPLE TARTS. STUPID ME BROUGHT THEM INTO MY ROOM.
AND.
I've forgotten so many intricate whiny little details that I had wanted to blog about. Gah.
POSTED AT 4:39 PM
Saturday, Feb. 04, 2006
I got 23.5/50 for my latest GP compre practice.
2 for summary and 2.5 for AQ.
GG lor.
POSTED AT 1:20 PM
Wednesday, Feb. 01, 2006
): Who doesn't?
POSTED AT 11:29 PM
Wednesday, Feb. 01, 2006
My father advocates a very simple principle in life: taking self-responsibility for your own problems. Faulting others for things that go wrong is an evasion of responsibility that should have been undertaken by yourself alone. So, for example, if you don't make it to Oteam, don't blame the interviewers or the decision-makers, blame yourself; ask yourself why you couldn't make it, what qualities you lacked, how you screwed up, and how you can improve. After all, it isn't the last opportunity you're ever gonna get in life. After all, there are always other chances in the future you can give a better shot at. After all, there is no point in hating somebody else for your own inadequacies.
Unfortunately, this is a principle that is very hard to adhere to. It's a major test of endurance.
POSTED AT 11:13 PM
Tuesday, Jan. 31, 2006
eh chinese new year rocks lah.
POSTED AT 12:29 PM
Monday, Jan. 30, 2006
I regret bringing my parents along for I Not Stupid Too, the much-anticipated sequel to I Not Stupid. No, I don't join streetgangs and I don't get into fights for staring incidents, and I certainly don't smoke - but I blog, and Tom's Mum seems to regard blogging as the Evil of All Evils, which is actually rather unrealistic - whoever spends so much time blogging to the extent of neglecting his commitments? AND most of the scenes were rather gan1ga4 when watched with your parents cos I was once a heavy Pokemon card addict (I still have the Shining Tyrranitar, Shining Celebi etc. in my cupboard) and most of the parental issues discussed in the movies weren't unfamiliar. For example, I do whine about sky-high expectations at times when I'm seriously very buaysong, and there's certainly a paucity of communication in my family - we talk more on our phones than to each other. But any family is built upon trust, even if my mum doesn't ring me up she knows I'm (sleeping) at my Biology tutorial and not hooting up some other tattooed swearword machine at some unknown street of Singapore, or robbing an old lady of her gold bracelet, or watching porno VCDs at RJC's comp lab. No, not in her wildest dreams. Not in mine either, for that matter.
Anyway, as with other jteam productions, this edition had its usual share of comic relief interspersed with a discussion of prominent social issues. As usual the setting is rather mainstream - hokkien-speaking coffeeshop aunties, ex-convicted anti-pacifism fathers, and orange/purple/pink/green-haired swearword machines aka Ah Bengs à la "17" by Royston Tan. According to Ong Sor Fern, Jack Neo actually went to get real-life gang members. Woot. This film is a comedy+ documentary+preachyeducationalprogram but it excels in none of each of its three aspects. For one, its comedy is too "lame" - in Jack Neo's own words - I'd give him a pat on his shoulder for trying to inundate adults with Youthspeak, but surely, there could have been some weak attempt at infusing more intelligent humour? Therein lies his greatest problem - his films have populist appeal, but it curtails his discussion of social issues and limits it to a parochial mockery instead of a intelligent coverage with depth and analysis. This is because if he adopts the latter approach, a major compromise in humour has to be made - and this would cause him to lose a great amount of audience. Having said that, it is applaudable that this film does contain a lot of lessons to be learnt - a bit too preachy, in fact - but the major problem lies not in the breadth but the depth of coverage. Granted, he considered a wide spectrum of societal issues - corporal punishment in school, communication breakdown in families as well as juvenile delinquency - but each of it was reduced to mere scenes of humour and not much else.
A couple of points I'm rather flummoxed about:
- Jack's potrayal of Tom&Jerry's family was severely far-fetched - it's difficult to fathom how parent-child communication can be reduced to such a small amount. Too much drama, too little accuracy in potrayal of truth. :/
- Joshua Ang is an anti-pacifism, smoking (wtf? isn't he underage?) who sees rules beneath him, relies on violence to solve his problems and has little respect for anything but his "friends" - and he's supposed to be the Hero of All Heroes. Where's the logic?
This film also emanates a subtle hint of mockery towards bureaucracy. The principal is damn funky and she enshrines the MOE above everything and says "this is the law" for about 10 times throughout the whole movie. Again, what is so bad about rules? Why is this film so damn anarchist in nature? Going by Hobbes' political theory a society without rules would only reduce interpersonal relationships to a catfight for survival, bringing out the primal and aggressive instincts inherent in human nature. SOO.. what's the point of being so rebellious just for the sake of being rebellious, just so the heroes of the film can omg act so cool and just so the film can gain some ground in populist appeal, because everyone loves bad boys who see rules beneath them, and everyone loves non-law-abiding people who are Oh So Damn Cool And Rebellious, and you can get a considerable amount of audience who's going to laud you for being so anti-tradition, anti-rules, anti-bureacracy, anti-pacifism, anti-everything?
CONCLUSION. A film geared towards commercial recognition and populist appeal is constrained to a shallow analysis of discussion of societal issues. So don't try so hard to act like you can analyse all of them when you can't, it's "so lame".
POSTED AT 11:41 PM
Sunday, Jan. 29, 2006
i wrote about negative consequences to the mistake-maker, not to the people around the mistake-maker. i am so screwed. okay wait. nvm, i'm going to take it again in May. Just signed up for it.
POSTED AT 2:16 PM
Sunday, Jan. 29, 2006
Guess what, I wrote out of point for my essay! I think my mother doesn't know anything about SAT cos ytd she said "oh i expected you to get 2390"
for the year of the dog, those born in the year of the dragon (large majority of us) is said to encounter trials and tribulations and loads of misfortune.
take care everybody.
POSTED AT 2:05 PM
Sunday, Jan. 29, 2006
让我们一起跟鸡说再见吧。鸡BYE!
POSTED AT 2:03 PM
Saturday, Jan. 28, 2006
Is it necessary to make mistakes despite its negative consequences?
Making mistakes is an important part of any learning process and should not be miscontrued as harmful because of its apparent negative consequences. Mistakes are important because they allow for enlightenment and correction so that future activites can be conducted without repeating the same errors that one has made.
Learning by mistakes is enshrined in many educational systems throughout the world. Preliminary examinations, for example, normally precede crucial national examinations. These preliminary examinations, while not as important as the national examinations, provide a near-exact replica of exam-like conditions. Mistakes that are made in these preliminary examinations can hence be rectified immediately to preclude similar errors from being made in national examinations.
In the realms of science, hypotheses usually have to go through repeated correction and refining by laboratory experimentation and mistake-making.
(Writing this essay is a lost cause.)
Bye bye 6+6 for essay.
Hello 3+3 for essay.
POSTED AT 7:41 PM
Saturday, Jan. 28, 2006
It's a depressing CNY because my family is dysfunctional. I have an aunt who doesn't see us as family, cannot tolerate the sight of us (and it's not mutual btw, but it might as well have been - not like it makes a difference) and so is not going to have a reunion dinner with us.
CNY is supposed to convey an impression of a convivial atmosphere, children running about taking hongbaos and eating mandarin oranges and rougan, watching the ch8 countdown show and parents playing mahjong etc. this year all these festivities would be kept to a minimum, due to that bitch.
anyway, i just read chinghui's SAT1 essay. if that warranted an 11, by proportion in terms of clarity, depth and breadth of analysis, i should get a 6. (which is 3+3, mind you.)
I only talked about a MISERABLE two examples and i didn't even ELABORATE on the two examples.
it's a wonder how chinghui can do so well in almost everything he does.
POSTED AT 6:17 PM
Saturday, Jan. 28, 2006
I screwed up an extremely easy question for SAT.
I read "Unlike Passage 2, Passage 1 includes.." as "Unlike Passage 1, Passage 2 includes.." How I managed to make such a retarded error is beyond me.
And it was extremely easy.
I hope that section is the variable section (ie. not counted) or else I would have wasted all my money on SAT.
POSTED AT 2:40 PM
Friday, Jan. 27, 2006
Eve of SAT Reasoning Test, eve of eve of Chinese New Year.
I still cannot develop a cogent argument in essay-writing largely because the topics that come out are unfamiliar, or ones that I know nothing of. Having to conjure examples on the spot germane to the topic given is extremely difficult, especially when your level of General Knowledge is low (ie. dearth of political/historical/social examples to support your case) and your life is severely uneventful (no personal anecdotes to tell). Therefore I often have to falsely conceive stories that have never happened before, or with a dubious degree of truth. (Was Gandhi ever "a person who kept opinions to himself"?)
Critical Reading is still very much the bane, I can't go beyond 700 on bad days and on good days I get around 730. The vocabulary is seriously very difficult - whoever comes across words like "hubris", "lugubrious", "lithe" or the like? Maybe it's my own lack of immersion in the English language, but I CANT UNDERSTAND WHAT THE AUTHORS ARE TRYING TO SAY IN THEIR NARRATIONS. My father gave a possible explanation towards this phenomenon: "These English tests are catered largely towards American candidates - who read American newspapers, American literature and are definitely more acquainted with American culture - asking a Singaporean what "lugubrious" means is equivalent to asking an American what "kiasu" means. For all you know, Americans who walk out of an unexciting movie might say: "EH WHY THIS MOVIE SO LUGUBRIOUS ONEE!!!""
Nevertheless I'm still hoping for the best. Essays inspire a lot of fear, and this level of intimidation is only exacerbated by the time constraints (25 minutes to plan, write and refine) they give us.
POSTED AT 7:01 PM
Thursday, Jan. 26, 2006
I received that dreaded letter this morning. Hands atremble, I gingerly ripped open the computer-generated document along the perforated lines (as with most other government-issued letters), half with an apocalyptic sense of anticipation, the other half immersed in a helpless feeling of fatalistic self-mockery.
So they haven't forgotten about me after all.
My problem with NS is not the aversion towards the physical rigors of BMT and what ensues, I'd be glad to embrace them insofar as I am suitable for the exercises. Therein lies the debatable prequisite - am I really fit for it?
I'm a person of unimaginably horrific health. I use up to an average of 1 to 2 tissue packs just clearing up phlegm and mucus throughout the day. Most of the time I experience mysterious body aches and respiratory problems and I go breathless at the slightest - and I mean slightest - requirement of physical exertion. Of late I get attacked by sudden onsets of fatigue at different times of the days.
All these seem to point to the fact there could be something medically wrong with my body. While I do not wish for this to happen, I am not sure whether the doctor for my medical check-up would react to my complaints with mere dismissive cynicism. Don't forget they've received all too many falsified medical syndromes stemming from the intent of malingering.
Once I'm given the pass - the classification as being "normal" - I'd be looked upon as "equal" as other individuals. I'd be placed upon a common ground with the large majority of Singapore's able-bodied men. But can this common ground for comparison really be established? Am I truly able-bodied? This dangerous assumption means that the expectations I'm supposed to live up to, despite my physical impairment in manifold areas, have to be fulfilled -- no qualms about it. Insofar as fitness levels and health are concerned, I wouldn't consider myself as "equal".
Probably never.
I've heard from many sources (many of my father's clients were army personnel themselves) that I should not be overly skeptical about the harshness of the physical regimentation. I'm not skeptical, I just don't want to be thought of as being treated fairly when I'm truly not well enough to yield to their demands.
I'd gladly defend Singapore.
But am I truly capable of doing so?
POSTED AT 8:33 PM
Thursday, Jan. 26, 2006
I love taking black-and-white photos. :/
POSTED AT 1:21 AM
Wednesday, Jan. 25, 2006
I have this very wild dream of going up on stage one day, in front of the whole school, to perform Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire". But I'll never marshall enough courage to do so. Carpe diem. :P And I can't sing either.
Lyrics as follows:
Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnnie Ray
South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio
Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, television
North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe
Rosenbergs, H-Bomb, Sugar Ray, Panmunjom
Brando, "The King and I", and "The Catcher in the Rye"
Eisenhower, vaccine, England's got a new queen
Marciano, Liberace, Santayana goodbye
CHORUS
We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it
Josef Stalin, Malenkov, Nasser and Prokofiev
Rockefeller, Campanella, Communist Bloc
Roy Cohn, Juan Peron, Toscanini, dacron
Dien Bien Phu and "Rock Around the Clock"
Einstein, James Dean, Brooklyn's got a winning team
Davy Crockett, "Peter Pan", Elvis Presley, Disneyland
Bardot, Budapest, Alabama, Khrushchev
Princess Grace, "Peyton Place", trouble in the Suez
CHORUS
Little Rock, Pasternak, Mickey Mantle, Kerouac
Sputnik, Chou En-Lai, "Bridge on the River Kwai"
Lebanon, Charles de Gaulle, California baseball
Starkweather homicide, children of thalidomide
Buddy Holly, "Ben-Hur", space monkey, Mafia
hula hoops, Castro, Edsel is a no go
U2, Syngman Rhee, payola and Kennedy
Chubby Checker, "Psycho", Belgians in the Congo
CHORUS
Hemingway, Eichmann, "Stranger in a Strange Land"
Dylan, Berlin, Bay of Pigs Invasion
"Lawrence of Arabia", British Beatlemania
Ole Miss, John Glenn, Liston beats Patterson
Pope Paul, Malcolm X, British politician sex
JFK, blown away, what else do I have to say
CHORUS
Birth control, Ho Chi Minh, Richard Nixon, back again
Moonshot, Woodstock, Watergate, punk rock
Begin, Reagan, Palestine, terror on the airline
Ayatollolah's in Iran, Russians in Afghanistan
"Wheel of Fortune" , Sally Ride, heavy metal, suicide
Foreign debts, homeless vets, AIDS, Crack, Bernie Goetz
Hypodermics on the shores, China's under martial law
Rock and Roller Cola Wars, I can't take it anymore
CHORUS
We didn't start the fire
But when we are gone
Will it still burn on, and on, and on, and on...
POSTED AT 11:16 PM
Wednesday, Jan. 25, 2006
What does your handwriting say about YOU?
POSTED AT 11:13 PM
Tuesday, Jan. 24, 2006
Happiness seems extremely far away.
POSTED AT 7:20 PM